Wednesday, January 28, 2009
This picture of Hadley was taken on December 14th, 2007. Who would have ever known that almost exactly a year later she would be gone. We were celebrating Christmas with Auntie Manda, Uncle Brian and Uncle Clay before we headed out to Idaho. Brandon was deployed and we were going to spend Christmas with his parents and siblings. It was our gazillionth holiday, but very first Christmas, without him. The kids did well. I did well. I was proud we survived this military family rite of passage. Hadley, as we all know now, wouldn't live to see another Christmas. She passed away just 15 days short. Brandon missed her last Christmas. It is probably a huge blessing we didn't know. I can't imagine how much it would have hurt him to leave. I still feel a lot of guilt over it. Not that it is my fault...but, he does his 'job' not only for our country but, for our family. It puts a roof over our head, food on the table and, most importantly at the time, health insurance cards in my wallet. His job allowed me to stay home through Hadley's entire cancer journey. I was able to be there for her ANY time she needed or wanted me. He sacrificed SO much to allow me this awesome privilege.
Thank you, Brandon, for taking care of us. Thank you for allowing me to spend so much time with our girl. I don't know how I'll ever make it up to you. I don't know that it's possible...but, I'll certainly try. I love you.