Blog on the back burner...

A HUGE thanks goes out to DragonLeaf .
http://www.dragonleafphotography.com/

So many things are on the back burner right now.  To be quite honest I'm not even sure if we HAVE front burners at this point.  :)  Mama's chemo schedule (if your head is spinning visit: www.ChemoMom.blogspot.com)is taking up a little more time each cycle.  Thankfully we're almost half way through!  YES!

 Mama's super proud of her 3 favorite guys.  They've adjusted well to not being able to lean on mom quite so much these days.  That, in big part, is because their daddy has stepped up in a big way for them.  *swoon*  Really, these people I've been blessed with are amazing.  Even my Hadley, who has been gone nearly 2 years, is still blessing me.  Feeling the way I do...wanting to call it quits...being stretched way too thin...makes me a scosh grumpy.  Then, I think of my amazing girl...her crooked smile, her love of people, the pure joy she found in the simplest things, how tough she was when we had to put her through hell to try and save her.  I fall WAY short of the example she set but, I can strive.  These four people make this mama better.

To backtrack a bit...we had a good, busy, crazy summer.  The boys spent nearly a month with G'ma and G'pa Fox.  Mama's surgery and cancer diagnosis was something they wanted to be FAR from.  So, they sought refuge at G'ma's house.  :)  Mama wishes she could have run away too.

We moved out of Portland and into the 'burbs.  This move took place days after my release from the hospital following major abdominal surgery removing large portions of my colon and small intestine...and just before Brandon's L4/L5 fusion, so we were both restricted to lifting no more than about 10-15 lbs.  Needless to say we hired movers.  We did all the packing and prep (with the help of a few loyal and amazing friends and family members) and then left all the heavy lifting for the pros.  The bill at the end of moving day nearly put me in shock...but, was SO worth it.  That move put us in a much better neighborhood, a much bigger single family home (with a yard), and a great school district/neighborhood school for the same amount of money we were paying in the city for a townhouse. We decided, prior to this move that it was time to move the boys to public school.  So far we have had a wonderful experience.  The boys have adjusted well and are thriving in their new environment.  We are pleased with their teachers and the amount of time and energy they are putting into the education of EACH child.   I really feel like this move was absolutely best for our family.  <3

The boys started school on September 7th.  Keegan is in 3rd grade, Liam is in 1st.  This is quite unbelievable to me.  These crazy guys have grown up SO fast.  They are loving school.  Their favorite parts of the day are riding the bus and recess.  Surprise!  *snort*  They're both making new friends and are enjoying the change.

Just after school started Mama started Chemo and The Mister had his surgery.  Thankfully, for all parties involved, Gramma drove out and stayed for almost two weeks to help and keep us sane.  I'm fairly certain we still owe her a FULL day at a spa to help her recover.  <3  The Mister's surgery went exactly as planned and he was home in record time.  He's been a trooper and a half...and has had to do way more around the house than he probably should have.  His next follow up is on Monday.  He'll have Xrays and find out what the next several weeks will look like for him.  His brace may be dc'd, he may be going back to work etc.  We'll see what the good doc has to say about his films.  I'm still not breathing exactly right...not until he gets the 'all clear' that his back problem is 'fixed' and he's fit for full duty.  I'll update next week on this.

In mid October I was able to fly to Northern Idaho for five glorious days with my bestie.  Her friend Jennifer and I threw her a Halloween theme baby shower for Littlest Sister.  It was so fun!  Plus, I got to lay around and be lazy with my bestie (she's on modified bed rest...and I'm a lazy slob).  I loved the slower pace of this trip.  Getting to spend some 'quiet' time with her kiddos was so nice.  I fell like I haven't been able to do that since we all moved.  It was nice to reconnect.  This girl is an amazing mama...and it shines in her kids...even when they're making her crazy.  ;)  I love you friend, and can't wait for the next visit...but, will, so let's keep that baby baking...M'kay?!?

Halloween/Fall 

It's always way more fun to just show you pics of this time of year.  ;)

Liam's field trip to Liepold Farms.  

Pumpkin Carving.  Liam's a scosh too excited.

That's better...

Keegan showing an appropriate amount
 of anticipation.

Thar be the pumpkin guts.

The Mister and the boys making messes
and loving every minute.

Murphy had to get in on the fun.
He's a ferocious Shark.

The Mister always knew The Mama needed
a Witch hat...now it's finally happened.  <3

My guys on Halloween Night.  <3

Halloween Party Night.
Because we value cake in this house.
Maybe a little too much.  ;)

Liam 11/1/10
Perseverance Award

Our last 'order of business' is honoring Mr Liam.  He was given a Character Education Award for the month of November.  The character trait is Perseverance.  In the assembly some of the students helped to define perseverance as:  Never giving up, trying again and again and again, and always keeping on going.  That sounds like my boy to me.  <3  We love you and are so proud of you little man.  You are SO wise for your age.

Liam receiving his award from his
Principle.

I Just Won 50 Swag Bucks on www.swagbucks.com

I Just Won 50 Swag Bucks on www.swagbucks.com

Chemo Mom...

I have created a separate blog for all of my Chemo/Cancer related blabbing.
www.ChemoMom.blogspot.com

Feel free to stop by...or not.  <3

Cowboys...

The boys are in Idaho with the grandparents this week. They were treated to the rodeo AND new clothes. :)



Are they not the most handsome boys EVER? Gosh I miss their faces.

Let's Do The Time Warp AAAAgaaaaaaiiiinnnn...

How does that one go? Come on now...don't be shy. I KNOW you know it. *wink*

It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,
Let's do the Time Warp again!

Ok, now just TRY and get that song out of your head for the rest of the day. *You'reWelcome*

My last blog post was February 13th. It is now *ahem* June 8th. The boys are in their last week of school and we're hitting the ground running this summer. I honestly don't even know where to begin in catching everyone up. Has anything happened in the last four months? It never feels like it...but, oh yes...there's always SOMETHING going on here. *snicker*

February
Mama's blood struggles continued to make her crazy.


We brought home our sweet Murphy Boy



We went to see Walking With Dinosaurs *eeeeeek*




Our friends Chris and Dawn got remarried <3




March

Mama's car was broken into. *sigh*



My sweet niece, Anastaysja, turned 3. Yes! THREE.



Mama and The Mister celebrated 10 years of wedded-ness with a week on Oahu! (we even accidentally found ourselves on the set of LOST! F'real!!!)





The morning after returning from Hawaii we all did a 5k in memory of our Hadley Bug. The boys and I walked and The Mister ran. Go mister, go.




Our sweet Murphy fell victim to a TERRIBLE grooming job at Petco. Poor humiliated Murph.



***Spring Break***
We got to take the cousins to the zoo.



We went to Oaks Park.



...and the boys spent some time in Idaho with the fam. :)


April

Cousin Reagan turned ONE!



We made a trip to Orofino (aka 1985) for Morgan's 7th birthday!!!



Liam played Spring Soccer.



Mama turned...*ahem* had a birthday...and The Mister threw her a party at The Rheinlander. (I know, right?!?)



May

We went to Olympia for the ceremony adding Pop Pop's name to the Washington State Law Enforcement Memorial.



While we were up there we went to The Great Wolf Lodge!!!



Over Memorial Day we went camping at Champoeg State Park. The mister had duty so, The Mama played "single Mama" and decided that camping is for when BOTH mom and dad can go...at least until the boys are a LITTLE older. Overall, it was a fun trip though. ;)



June...

It's only the 8th of June and so far this month...Liam has broken a finger, The mister has bought a 'new' truck, and Liam has survived a nasty looking spider bite.

We still have 2 1/2 days of school, Camp, and Uncle Brandon and Megan's wedding on the books. I will TRY to be better about blogging. Maybe, then, it won't take me so long to update. *sigh*

Hope your week is a good one.

A grateful gripe...

Ok so the gratefulness and the gripe are kind of separate but, for some reason that little oxymoron was stuck in my head. So, there ya go. You're welcome.

First, thank you. Thank you friends, family, loyal readers and supporters (BOTH of you *snort*) for your thoughts and prayers during the past several months. December was hard. My surgery that shouldn't have been a big deal...and then was. The deep vein thrombosis that turned into multiple DVT's. My stubborn blood that refused to anti-coagulate. Bed rest. More bed rest. Oh, are you doing better, could it be?...oh, no...more bed rest. That, believe it or not was the easy part. December 12th marked the one year anniversary of our sweet girl's death. We spent Thanksgiving and the entire Christmas season without her. We welcomed the second year that she never lived in. I had really hoped that January was the turning point. Starting January 1st we would shake off the funk that December brought and get well...and happy...and I would return to school. Everything was moving in the right direction. Then...

January 3rd Hadley's Pop Pop, my mom's husband, was killed in an accident while on duty with the Grant County Sheriff's Office. He was killed immediately. Thank you for surrounding my mom, step brothers and all of our family in your prayer and love. Please continue to do so. Grief is hard, hard work.


Now, so as to make myself look like a total jerk I'm going to complain and say that I am ToTALLY ready for my doctor to clear me for exercise again. I don't even care if it's low impact. I would settle for walking on a treadmill or water aerobics. Seriously. I have gained an ungodly amount of weight in a ridiculously short amount of time. I am back near my heaviest weight ever. It's really hard to face this and not feel like I've failed myself.

I have a follow up appointment with my hematologist on 2/18/10 (Thursday) to, hopefully, get the results of all the blood work they did and to repeat my CBC and talk about treatment options for my anemia and overall crappy blood counts. They were looking for a suspected blood disease/disorder that could be causing the clots and/or the resistance to treatment. There was brief mention of "the C word" but, I ignored that entirely. *wink*

So, there are my thanks, my gripes and my plea for further prayers.

Have a happy Valentine's Day. DOn't take your loved ones for granted. Take this Hallmark created day to let your loved ones just how much you adore them...even if you don't spend a dime...ESPECIALLY if you don't spend a dime. Love your people!!!

Prayers.

My mom's husband died in an accident while on duty last night. He was a Grant County, Wa Sheriff's Deputy. Very little is known about what happened yet. Please keep both my mom and John's sons and our entire family in your prayers. Thank you so much.

(Hadley and Pop Pop. Summer '05.)

2010.

Hello, and happy new year! We managed to survive the holidays. This was our second Christmas without our girl. The pain was different this year. In many ways it cut a lot deeper. That first Christmas Hadley had only been gone for 2 weeks. We were still in such shock. Anyway, we survived. She was missed every single minute but, we take great comfort in the fact that she is no longer in pain and with the only being who can love her more perfectly than we can.

First, thank you for your prayers for our marriage. After much reflection and soul searching Brandon and I decided that it is in everyone's best interest for us to give our marriage the chance it deserves to survive. We are working on ourselves as individuals and on our marriage as a couple. We have a lot of work to do, both individually and together but, we are determined to grow closer through this. We thank you for your thoughts and prayers during this time. We both have so much on our plates, emotionally. Parenting our boys and aiding in their grief process, our own grief, personal growth and investing in and repairing our marriage. Exhausting but, like I said, we're determined.

Liam turned 6 on November 17th. Where does the time go. Wasn't Liam JUST 'baby Liam'? *tear* He is doing wonderfully in Kindergarten. He is a good friend and is meeting and surpassing all academic expectations. He was rewarded for displaying the character quality of FAITH this school year. We are so proud of him. He's really growing into quite the little man. A mischievous little man but, a man nonetheless.

Keegan will be 8 in just a few weeks (Jan 18th). Again, I just can't believe it. Sometimes when I'm watching them play I just sit and shake my head because I can't believe how much they've grown. Keegan is doing well at school too. His reading/comprehension scores are well beyond his grade level at 98 words per minute. He is reading chapter books with ease and fast enough that we are going to have to start accessing the library more often, or buy stock in Barnes and Noble. ;) Keegan received the character award for displaying INTEGRITY. Again, we are so proud of him. He is a very kind hearted young man and such a blessing.

Brandon is a coxswain at the station now. This means, basically, that he is in charge of a crew and drives the boats. He is responsible for responding to calls and his crew. He worked hard for quite some time for this. It is also a big step toward his next promotion. I am very proud of all his hard work. He is really enjoying this billet and seems to have found his niche.


As many of you know I've had some health issues recently. On December 4th I had a very simple knee repair surgery. My lateral meniscus was torn and needed to be cleaned up. The surgery went exactly as expected and was successful. A few days after surgery, though, I was in the ER with a lot of pain and swelling in my calf. I was diagnosed with a DVT (deep vein thrombosis or blood clot in a deep vein). I was started on blood thinners (and pain meds) immediately. Over the course of the rest of the month my dose of blood thinners was raised repeatedly but, lab work continues to show that my blood is still at a very high risk of clotting. Late in the month I developed two more DVT's (for a total of 3), this time at the knee and in my thigh. Currently I am on both an oral and subcutaneous injection blood thinners(for those in the medical field I'm up to 9mg/day of coumadin and 240mg/day Lovenox). I am on bed rest to prevent a pulmonary embolism and am at the doctor's office every other day for labs and doctor's visits to monitor and adjust everything. I have been restricted from driving because of the risk involved with my using my leg and the clots there...and also the danger involved with a pulmonary embolism happening while I'm behind the wheel (both to me and my passengers and the cars and pedestrians around me). For whatever reason, despite heavy doses of anticoagulants I am still at a high risk to develop more clots (last pro-time lab was 1.13). Please keep us in your prayers where this is concerned. I would really love to avoid any more clots, any complications with the coumadin and lovenox (meds) and, obviously, a pulmonary embolism would be a real pain too. Please pray for Brandon as he cares for the boys and I. Pray for my doctors as they care for me. Be thankful with us for the graciousness of Brandon's command. I am trying my best to ignore the seriousness of this situation. I just refuse to acknowledge that our family could really be put through anything else...

I'll get some pictures up soon.

Faith, Hope and Love to you all. <3