Friday, October 17, 2008

Limbo...

I don't want to be here anymore, in limbo that is. I feel like we should be out living it up. Doing all of Hadley's favorite things. Running through Disneyland, swinging all day, floating in a warm pool somewhere...maybe jumping on the next plane to Kauai. But, Hadley's condition keeps us pretty close to home...not too much activity or stimulation. I feel like we're just sitting around...waiting. I don't like it one bit. It doesn't feel right. I want for her to be able to do all of her favorite things. I want to experience them with her...but, I don't want her to have to 'pay' for it with extra pain and anxiety. Over a month ago our doctors told us she may not live more than a couple of days. That was a month ago...she is still here...but not really 'here'. It's just not fair.

I guess I'm just having a 'we got jipped' day. =(

The sun is out...maybe we'll plant some fall flowers..when she wakes up...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

My heart is breaking in a million pieces; your daughter is precious and I am in tears over your story.

Many prayers for your family.

The Coatney's said...

oh ange, i'm so sorry. i can't imagine how difficult it must be. BUT Had probably is doing the thing she wants most, spending time with you, Brandon and the boys. i think if i was in that position i would be happiest comfortable surrounded by the ones i love the most. we will keep praying for you guys. love you

Amanda: said...

Oh Mama Fox.... thinking of you always. Hang in there...

Shauna Wagner said...

You totally got jipped! I am sorry friend- sorry for your life situation. You Foxes have been amazing and i know that waiting for the inevitable- sucks.

Plant flowers, plant candy, do anything that brings a smile to your face. I love you and wish I could help. My prayers and the prayers of others are with you.

Hug Miss Hadley and the 2 little Prince Charmings! Heck- hug Brandon and tell him to hug you for me.

I love you!
-shauna

bella1021 said...

:(
Hugs friend!

Sue said...

I agree you did get jipped and you deserve to feel like you did. You deserve to feel any way you want to feel. I am so very sorry about what you are experiencing and it reminds us all that on the terrible days we should be lucky to have our children because Mamma and Pappa Fox are learning let go way to early. I love you.

Just a Girl in a Port said...

Being jipped is never good, especially for such a lively family. You are right, you should be living it all to the fullest. I know though, no matter what, Miss Hadley is just happy to have you all near during this time. To her, that's likely what matters the most.

Sarah Ann said...

oh ang, i can't believe what i'm reading. i'm so glad i found you on facebook so we could reunite.

lots of love to you sister! i'll message you my number & hopefully (if you want to) we can get together soon.

hugs to all five of you! *can't believe you have another kiddo*