The Fox Family Five

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Can't leave out the dishes...

So, now that we're figuring out how to save money in the laundry room let's move on to the kitchen. =) In retrospect I probably should have started there. It is a little simpler to make and would have helped you see that you CAN do it and it WILL work as good, if not better, than the expensive stuff with all the crazy chemicals etc. Blech. But, you all know I never do anything the way I should. *wink*

Here's the 'recipe':

1 cup borax
1 cup washing soda
3-5 drops of tea tree oil*

I put it all in an empty plastic container and shake it up. I put one tablespoon in each compartment (for a total of 2 tbsp per load).

*Optional-I did add this. I bought the natural 100% tea tree oil in the health food dept of Fred Meyer. It was about $10 for the little bottle but, it will last forever and has a ton of household uses. Everything from an all natural antiseptic for cuts/wounds to blemish control for your face and some companies add it to their shampoo to help keep the scalp as clean as possible and promote healthy hair growth. So, there you have it. =)

Now, if you love your rinse aid or have wanted to use one but, refused to spend even more money on detergents etc (like me) it's your lucky day. Remember the huge jug of white vinegar we bought for the laundry? Now, you can pour it in your rinse aid dispenser in your dishwasher. Trust me...you will be a happy little homemaker. =)

Now that we've saved so much money...what will we DO with it? Bwa ha ha ha. =) *snort*

"Fabric Softener"

More brilliance. If you have a fabric softener dispenser on your machine then this is super easy. If you don't you can use a downy ball etc...or, if you have nothing better to do =) you can just manually add it to the rinse cycle. =) You will use this INSTEAD of fabric softener or Fabric Softener sheets.

1/4 to 1/2 Cup White Vinegar.

I promise your clothes will not smell like Vinegar. It helps soften your fabrics and remove soap reside naturally. =) Awesome. Just DO NOT use bleach in the same load as Vinegar.

Not only is this all natural and CHEAP but, it may help extend the life of your dryer as well. When we bought our new HE machines from Sears they recommended we not use dryer sheets. Apparently they can get wrapped up in 'something' (I am a mom of very little brain and can't remember what) and cause the motor to burn and possibly even a house fire!!! What?!?

I have used Vinegar for a long time in laundry. I started when I had the kids in cloth diapers and I used it in them and LOVED it. Yes, I am THAT mom. What? *wink*

If you can find your vinegar in a big jug it is cheaper that way and you won't have buy it very often. I know Costco has a huge jug for something like $2??? I think. I'll report back on Monday after my Costco trip.

So, there you have it. All natural, all wallet friendly laundry, all the time. Oh yeah. *snort*

Laundry for Pennies...

I have decided recently that being thrifty isn't something we should 'do' just when we HAVE to. You can read that however you want....but, for this pay check to paycheck enlisted military family...it means that sometimes the month lasts longer than the paycheck. If'n ya catch my drift. So, I have been trying to find painless ways to save a bit here and there. My initial worry was that I'd be sacrificing quality to save money but, I've found that, with a little added work, just isn't the case. I like to TRY and keep our home as 'natural' an environment as I can. I don't always succeed but, I figure if I do several little things it has to make a difference right? I have found in this quest to save money that if I forgo some of the 'deals' and commit to a little work I can have high quality product at a VERY small price.

My FIRST find is Home Made Laundry Soap. You can find 'recipes' online. The one I used came from a fellow Coast Guard Spouse. I felt confident trying it after a lot of glowing recommendations from other spouses. It is super easy to make and you may just briefly lose consciousness when you see how much it will cost you...or rather SAVE you. =) You make a 5 gallon bucket of CONCENTRATE at once. Once you have the concentrate made you use old (rinsed out) laundry soap containers (reusing=recycling's older and wiser brother...yay). For each gallon of finished laundry soap you use 1/2 gallon of your concentrate, so your 5 gallon bucket will yield TEN gallons of laundry detergent!!! That equates into roughly 180 loads for a traditional machine or 640 loads for an HE or Front Loader! Wow...right?!?

Now picture all those big laundry soap bottles...pesky right? I hate those. Even the 2x or HE soap bottles are a pain. No MORE! =)

Now, would you like to guess how much this batch of laundry soap will cost you to make? Wait for it....right around $2.10. Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself. I did the math (with a calculator and everything). Of course your prices may vary given different stores, container sizes and cost of living factors etc. but this will give you a rough idea.

1 Fells Naptha Soap Bar=$1.29 (makes 1 batch)
1 box of Arm and Hammer WASHING Soda=$3.29 (makes 6 1/2 batches)
1 box Borax Laundry Booster=$5.50 (makes 19 batches)

$1.29
.51
+ .29
-------
$2.09

That's about a PENNY for each load for traditional washers and about 5 loads for a PENNY and a half in an HE or Front Loader Machine! SERIOUSLY. *gasp* Right?!?

The only other things you need are:

1--5 gal. bucket With a lid. Any clean one will do. I bought one at Fred Meyer for $4.
Hot water
1--Grater for soap ( I used the slicer/shredder/Grater attachment for my KitchenAid this is quick and easy but, any grater will do.)

stove top
pan for melting down grated soap and water

This takes a minimal amount of time and will save you a good chunk of money (and help our planet a bit too).

Sold yet?

Here are the instructions:

1 bar of soap, grated (I used Fels-Naptha Brand)
1 cup washing soda (Arm & Hammer Brand)
1/2 cup Borax
4 cups HOT water

Grate the soap, and put into a pan on the stove with the 4 cups of HOT water and cook over med low heat until the soap is melted.

Pour into a 5 gallon bucket, add the Borax and Washing Soda and stir well.

Add HOT water (we used the bath tub) to the top of the bucket to equal 5 gallons of liquid.

Let sit over night. This mixture will gel. Stir well the next morning. Take an old clean laundry detergent container and add 1 quart of laundry detergent concentrate and 1 quart of HOT water, screw on the top and shake well. You now have 1/2 gallon of homemade liquid laundry detergent. Shake before each use. You can add essential oils at this point if you so desire. I picked up some Tea Tree Oil to help with 'disinfecting' and the yummy smell.

Top Load Machine- 5/8 Cup per load (Approx. 180 loads) Front Load Machines- ¼ Cup per load (Approx. 640 loads)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A Mom and A Dad.

We are all different. People are unique. We each use life experiences and lessons differently. Beyond that, we all experience them differently. We all fill different roles and bring different strengths and weaknesses to the table. It's what makes life interesting and rich and complete. I'm thankful for our differences...no matter how hard it is at times.

As the mom of Hadley, Keegan and Liam my job was/has been to tend to their needs and see to their general well being 24/7/365. I have not worked outside the home. These children, my husband and my home have been my job, my life, my entire world for nearly 9 1/2 years. Since 4/22/04 my job has been to care for a chronically and life threateningly ill child and to keep her and her brothers lives as 'normal' as possible. Sometimes this was nearly impossible. At times it meant sacrificing carrying on Liam's diaper bag so that Hadley's small suitcase of meds and chemo could come along on vacation. Sometimes it meant spending an hour taping up and protecting Hadley's central line so she could run in the sprinklers with her brothers. A lot of the time it was putting my own fears aside and just allowing my children to be children...and one step beyond that...encouraging them to be happy and adventurous and...themselves. I was trained to care for a child who had a rare disease. A child who statistics no longer applied to. I was trained to remain vigilant and alert to any and all signs of danger to her. She was in a fragile state for nearly 5 years...no matter how 'normal' I tried to make things feel/seem. I had to stay alert or...or she could die. It was my job around the clock...for nearly 5 years. It was my life.

As the dad of Hadley, Keegan and Liam, Brandon's job was to go to 'work'. To present our family, to the Coast Guard, as typical and average, and himself as an asset to them. He put food on the table, a roof over our head and provided insurance for our family but, most importantly, Hadley. When he was home he loved on our kids and tried to make sure that I was doing ok. For Hadley's last 2 years, though, he was rarely home (until her last few months). His life, for the most part, was wrapped up in the Coast Guard. I can't and won't fault him that. It was necessary and in the best interest of our family. It is what it is.

These roles however, have led us to very different places in our grief. I am having a hard time switching roles from 'mom of chronically ill child' to 'mom of two healthy children'. Brandon is still dad. I will never undermine his grief or say my grief is greater. It's not the case at all. Our grief is what it is. Our roles as parents are a separate issue. His role has stayed much the same. Mine has changed drastically. Because of this we are in different places. He has a hard time understanding why I worry the way I do...why I still act like I have a sick kid. I have a hard time understanding how he can act like everything is 'normal'.

For the first time since Hadley died I was truly angry at my husband over her journey and death. I feel like I was abandoned to deal with and handle most of it on my own...and now he wonders why I'm not doing better and putting it behind me (the cancer journey...NOT Hadley). I feel angry that the one person who should be in a similar place as me...that should have many of the same experiences as me doesn't. I have to keep convincing myself that it's nobody's fault. He had to be gone for 3/4's of the year because it's his job. He doesn't fear the things I fear because he wasn't here through all of it. Most importantly, that he payed a different price. He missed so much time...

I am trying...nobody ever said this would be easy...but, nobody ever said it'd be this damned hard.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Blessed and Cheated...

The Blessed

The Cheated

Today was discouraging, hard, sad...horrible. So bad that I actually did the one thing that I vowed I'd never do and meant. I yelled at my boys because I am sad and angry that my girl is gone. I feel terribly guilty and will do everything in my power to never ever do that again. EVER.

Most days I am thankful, so thankful, that I get to say that I am Hadley's mom. I feel blessed that she is mine and I am hers. I feel lucky that my boys are healthy and happy and amazingly well adjusted. I feel proud that my marriage is strong and, no matter how imperfect, our love and relationship is genuine and real. I have everything I need and more. I am an extremely blessed woman who lost her child.

Today, I feel angry. Angry that Hadley's miracle was in heaven and not here with me. Confused as to why things played out the way they did. Why did Hadley die when so many other children survive? Sad that I have so many years ahead of me without this child that I learned to love so completely and knew so well. I feel cheated and let down. I wonder why. Did we not pray hard enough? Were there not enough people begging for her miracle? Did we not scour the country for a cure? Did we not do everything we were asked by her doctors? Did I not give her EVERY dose of medicine exactly as I was instructed? Did we not sacrifice enough with Brandon being gone so much and me single parenting? Was it not enough that she was sick in the first place? Were the surgeries and treatment not a big enough load to bear?

I feel stuck between two places. Almost as if I have two lives. The one that is rich and happy and blessed...and the one with this horrible tragedy. This deep dark sadness that doesn't let go. In one scenario I feel lucky to be alive...in the other, I feel as though I'm constantly on the verge of nervous breakdown. The problem is that I don't have multiple personality disorder. That almost seems like an easier scenario to deal with. I have to make these two scenarios one.

This is my life. This is my grief. This is love. When you love someone with all of your heart it breaks entirely when they have to move on. I gave my girl all of myself for the 8 years she was here. I neglected the rest of my life and now I am having to work to figure out who I am without her here. It's something I'd much rather not do. I'd rather her just be here with me. I loved who I was when I was with Hadley. Maybe I need to figure out how to be 'me with Hadley' without Hadley. *sigh*